Farewell

It has been quite some time since I played a game in order to review it for this blog.  I still play free online games now and then, but much of my life has changed in the last few years.  So has the focus of my writing.

I now have two published books that can be found here and here.  I am also on Twitter and have a public page on Facebook.  As far as blogging, I post story ideas and thoughts to this blog every other Wednesday.

Thank you for reading what I have to say and I hope you enjoy my words for many years to come.

Downtime

It has been some time since I posted here. Work got real busy, then real not busy.

The other night auditor I worked with (sort of, since we were never there at the same time) quit, forcing me to work extra hours to get the job done every day. In less than six months two General Managers and a Sales Manager left (not all voluntarily). A Conference Center Manager was promoted, only to become pregnant and recently take her maternity leave.

Plus a water line burst Christmas night forcing the hotel to shut down and all the guests to find other accommodations. Of course this did not mean the closure of the entire business, the conference rooms were untouched so events could still take place as long as nobody wanted to spend the night.

As a consideration a small number of rooms unaffected by the internal downpour were opened for a wedding reception that didn't have time to find new accommodations. The conference and housekeeping staff went through extra efforts to satisfy the happy couple and their families. Big mistake.

During the receptions many guests attempted to bring in alcohol they had purchased somewhere else (maybe the gas station around the corner). A couple of those that bought their drinks at the reception pass them on to kids barely old enough to drive, much less drink. All of these rule violations were handled and monitored by members of the management, much to the dismay of the father of the bride.

The pinnacle of the evening occurred after the ending of the reception at midnight. A couple of ladies (and I use the term very loosely) were on the verge of a fistfight over who would be responsible for the drunk passed out on the Men's room floor. Walking towards the group watching the argument I overheard the lovely bride start yelling at her friends that they needed to shut up because "...the hotel staff is yelling at me because of you guys..." I was the only staff member not hiding in the back office, and I hadn't said a word to anyone yet.

This led the father of the bride to corner the Conference Center Manager again and express his drunken displeasure at the treatment everyone had received. I don't think we will be doing any members of this newly expanded family any favors again any time soon.

Expensive Habit

Nobody will deny that smoking is an expensive habit. It can be more so if you aren’t careful where you smoke. Especially if you happen to smoke in a hotel room that is non-smoking. Especially if you sign a registration form that states you will be paying a fee if you do smoke in the room. Especially if that particular fee is $100. Having that added to your hotel bill can be expensive indeed. Complaining about the additional fee afterwards is not likely to save you any money either.

I have taken many calls about the “extra charge” a former guest knows nothing about. Some people deny having smoked in the room. This despite the reek of tobacco (or other) smoke after they leave and less obvious signs like water cups full of cigarette butts or ashes on the window sill, toilet, or on one or more pieces of furniture. “But I didn’t smoke in my room, someone else must have.” How oblivious must one be to let someone into their room and miss the blaring evidence that is going to cost them.

The real interesting calls are the ones from people that deny knowing their room was non-smoking. Signs on the front door, front desk, room door, and desk in the room apparently aren’t enough to inform someone blinded by the clouds around their heads. The obvious thing then is to point out the line about not smoking in the rooms on the form the guest signed when they checked in. This is commonly followed by the guest stating they hadn’t read the form and me or another desk clerk stressing the importance of reading things before signing them.

All these discussions are a lot more interesting when it’s face to face instead of over the phone. Guests that pay cash are asked to leave a $100 deposit that is returned after the room is inspected. Keeping that deposit is not fun. Except when the guest becomes a total jerk about having smoked in the room. Then I usually need to resist the urge to smile as I keep the deposit and post new charges to their bill.

One guest tried every line. “I didn’t smoke in the room.” Despite being close to freezing outside the window had been open and an empty six pack box had been used as an ashtray and left sitting on the desk. “I didn’t know it was a non-smoking room.” He was at the right height so that his eyes were at the same level as the sign on the door. He had to move the non-smoking sign on his desk in order to set his beer there. “You didn’t tell me it was non-smoking.” Last time I checked it wasn’t part of my job to get out a bullhorn and neon sign while doing a little tap dance informing the guest that he shouldn’t smoke.

Happy New Year!!!!!

We have all survived another rollover of the calendar without the Earth exploding. Take that Y2K (+7).

As with all monumental occasions there are some people that enjoy a little bubbly to commemorate the birth of another year. Then there are those who enjoy a little (way) too much bubbly.

I encountered one gentlemen who didn't have a clue when to say when. He was a a little drowsy when he entered the restroom near the bar/party central. There he proceeded to pass out while sitting on the toilet. A couple of hours later he was discovered by a co-worker when he needed to use the facilities.

The co-worker and I knocked on the drunk's stall door a number of times before getting a response. A less than desirable response. He proceeded to inform us of the contents of his last few drinks by displaying them on the floor. It made for a rather colorful pattern on the stone tiles.

After much talking (and poking and prodding to wake him) I managed to get some information out of our pickled guest. He told me his room number. It was something along the lines of 8675309. Not a number anything like the ones outside our rooms. So I pressed his few remaining brain cells for the name the room was registered to. "Jordan" was about all I could understand from his response. Unfortunately there was no "Jordan" registered to any of the rooms.

So I (less than) subtly followed him as he took a wrong turn down the hallway to the closed pool area and attempted to dial his cell phone and walk at the same time. This was too much for him. He flopped against a wall, found his phone again, and talked to someone at last. He finally managed to make his way to the correct room, I hope, and spent the rest of the night in alcohol inspired slumber.

I really hope the hangover he received keeps him a little more sober through the coming year.

EPILOUGE: It appears that the bed wasn't comfortable for my drunken friend. After I left around 4am he drifted into the stairwell at the end of the hall on the third floor, removed and neatly folded his clothes, and proceeded to fall asleep under the window.

He was discovered by the Sales Manager when she left her room in the morning.

Wanderlust

There are some nights it doesn't pay to get outta bed. Especially when you are paying to spend more time outta bed than in it. One night I saw a great example of this.

Early in the evening a woman came down and asked for a spare iron since the one in her room wasn't working right. It seems she had a minor case of insomnia and wanted to get some chores done while everyone else slept.

A couple of hours later she came back down for a little chat. After we talked for a little bit I noticed she looked a little tired as she headed back to her room on the 2nd floor. Or at least in that general direction. A few minutes after she vanished up the stairs I got a call from a room at the opposite end of the hotel saying that someone was trying to get into their room and had woken them up. Upon investigating I saw the same woman I had just been talking to attempting to enter the wrong room and unable to figure out why her key wouldn't work. I kindly informed her that she was in the wrong place and escorted her to her room where her key worked just fine.

In the middle of my usual mountain of paperwork the front desk bell rings and I look up at the camera monitor to see whom I need to assist in the wee hours of the morning. It's my friendly lady again, needing change for the vending machine this time.

I give her the quarters, wait a few seconds, then follow her up the stairs to make sure she gets along OK. As I round the corner at the top of the stairs I see her trying to feed her coins in the slot.....the key slot of a doorknob. Doing my best not to guffaw in her face I politely point her to the vending machine, then back to her room (again) with her snacks. As she opens her door I gently suggest she lay down and try to get some sleep.

I didn't hear from her again the rest of my shift. The people that worked the next day told me she didn't remember our little adventures together.

Some nights I wonder if I work in a hotel or a madhouse. Then I wonder if there is a difference.

WOW!!!!!

There are just some things no sane man should have to face. That's why I'm glad I lost my sanity a long time ago.

It was an unusually quiet night at the hotel and I was doing a simple security walk-around between mounds of paper work. During my check I noticed someone in the outside portion of the pool. Since lightining had been spotted earlier (10 mins ago by me) I notified the gentleman that the pool was closed. That and the fact the pool had been closed over 3 hours ago. The only way into the pool was to climb the fence. Or use a security key like I had. I entered the pool area to escort the gentleman out and noticed two other people had slipped into the spa in the corner.Even though the odds were 3 to 1 against me, I judged the blood-alchohol levels of the others gave me the advantage.

Until I saw that one of the people was a rather attractive young woman. Naked. Dripping wet. Naked. Bounding toward me. Naked. Asking me to let them swim a little bit longer. Naked. Her two male friends had shorts on, but apparently she decided to let it all hang out.

Kicking them out of the pool was one of the hardest things for me to do. Especially after she invited me to join her in the hot tub. Most especially after she hugged me. But the view of her from behind as she walked over to the towel rack was worth it. Almost.

Celebrities

A group of music stars recently stayed at the hotel. For their sakes (and mine) I won't mention any names. Besides, I don't want the blonde or brunette getting jealous when if I were to say which one I thought was hotter. Like the opinion of a simple desk clerk would matter that much to them.

Some times it's fun to people watch late at night. Especially when the people you are watching aren't the every-day average Joe you meet on the street. It was a little surprising how similar their conversation was to the many I've had with my own group of friends from time to time. Despite the fact they enjoy many more things than I ever will, their stories had many things in common with ones I have heard or told myself.

No, I didn't ask for any autographs. I did apologetically admit to not watching the shows they were famous for being on. They didn't seem to mind me too much. I even managed to keep the drool down to a minimum.